Last week two old classmates invited me for dinner. It was after much persuasion that I agreed. During dinner - which was scrumptious- they lamented on my non appearance at the 30th annivesary reunion gathering of our class recently. Well, since dinner was being paid for and I was basking in the after effects of oysters, sushi, lamb shank and all the desserts you can think of, I finally let out the secret to my absence from all the previous reunions..
I have not healed from the wounds of adolescent injuries. What? They exclaimed.... Move on; forgive and forget, put the past behind and all that stuff. Look at us guys, we have no issues with each other. We still play futsal every Friday night. What is it about you girls? You carry old wounds like it's still fresh!
Hey! I said.. Everyone's entitled to their feelings. I don't think it's petty to hold grudges against those who almost destroyed my formative years!! No, I was not one of the popular girls, I was not sought after by the guys to be their special girlfriend, pet sister or eye candy. No, I was not ostracised. Yes, I had friends. But teenage angst and all that crap....
Oh... too much information!! They said. Why is it that girls always complicate things?? Those years in boarding school were supposed to be fun. We had no responsibilities other than to study. Look at where we are now. We made it!! He's the CEO of so and so, She's made her first million, she's a Datin, he's the first Malaysian to this and that, etc, etc. Yup, and I am a miserable civil servant. Er.... okkkkk....
Oh, whatever... for all intent and purposes, I am happy with my life. I have moved on. I have meaningful relationships with wonderful people who will be with me during my times of need. So what's wrong if I don't need my friends from 30 years ago. Will it make my life less meaningful? I don't think so. Still... can't help wondering what if I had been one of the eye candy; will I have made my first million by now?
Thai / Malay Words
3 months ago