1. everything about it is a learning experience 2. i have to read a lot about management and research stuff 3. i absolutely love my corner cubicle 4. people here are soooooo friendly 5. the job is more focussed
5 things I miss about my previous post:
1. 10 years of materials 2. 10 years of friendship (professional....I am keeping the personal) 3. periodical spurts of activity 4. periodical (more often than not) dormancy 5. Facebooking......
So Ilham is home...yeay...I am ecstatic. Haven't seen him for a month or so. I missed him like crazy. Imiss his handsome face, his whining, his tantrums...I am sure he misses me too. That was what I thought.
He arrived at 2.30 am after a long car journey with MIL and brother IL. When he got off the car he sounded happy as a lark. MIL was complaining about multiple body aches and pains. He didn't rush at me like a long lost lover, instead he tried to dodge my wide open arms and puckered lips. Sigh..... But I managed a chaste kiss on his cheek. I was rewarded with a giggle, but no to a hug. I decided to bide my time and catch him in a corner and kiss him senseless soon.
By the next day, it was quite clear he prefers to live with MIL than with us. This was demonstrated by his constant whining to "balik kampung". Every time we made contact he would look me in the eye and say, "Mummy, balik kampung." "Ok, adik, nanti balik kampung ye." "MUMMY, BALIK KAMPUNG....EHHHHHHHHH!!!", "Adik tak nak duduk sini ke?", "MUMMYYYYYY, BALIK KAMPUNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!"
So, I bought the tickets for him and MIL. On top of showing how much he prefers to be in the kampung, he obeys MIL whenever she says anything to him. But not me. SIGH......
I do see a lot of improvement in him though...he can spell words - S-A-N-D-W-I-C-H and he says, ROTI..hehehe...cute. But he got P-A-P-A-Y-A & STRAWBERRY correct. And he actually wants to wear underwear all the time now. Hooray!!
The reason he prefers to be with MIL is simple, there he is the centre of attraction. MIL is at his beck and call 24/7. In the afternoons he has playdates. His aunts and cousins (several times removed) will come and play with him outside the house. If not MIL will send him to their house to play. Or he will go to the great grandaunt's house and bug her. twice a week he gets to eat at his favourite restaurant. Everyday either morning or evening, he is driven around by MIL. And they all worship him. Lucky bugger. In our house, he is not the centre of attraction. So there's the dilemma. Oh well, as long as he is happy. And soon he will attend school for the special kids. Apparently he is very excited about it.
As a mother, I only want what's best for him. I am sad that he does not want to stay with me, but I understand his needs. And I understand that someone like him does not possess sensitivities that are necessary for social functions. And no matter how many times I will break down thinking about it, I will be strong. I will accept that he is better off with MIL than with me.
Baba, I need your shoulders to be dry and smelling nice for the next couple of weeks....
Baru-baru ini saya terbaca satu artikel di tampal di dinding tentang penjawat awam curi tulang. Sekurang-kurangnya 70% masa kerja sehari digunakan untuk tujuan selain dari kerja rasmi. Kerja rasmi dilengah-lengahkan sehingga kesuntukan masa dan orang lain terpaksa mencampuri hal dan memberi bantuan. Apakah justifikasi golongan yang suka curi tulang ini terhadap perbuatan mereka? Ada kalanya saya sendiri merasakan termasuk dalam golongan ini. Sekiranya rakan-rakan membaca blog saya, sudah pasti dapat meneka saya menulis semasa waktu bekerja rasmi.
Apabila seketika dahulu laman Facebook disekat oleh administrator, satu kekecohan besar telah berlaku di pejabat. Berbagai alasan diberi untuk mendapatkan kembali akses kepada laman FB. Antara alasan yang diberi; FB antara perantara terbaik untuk menyampai maklumat terkini kepada rakan sejawat. Walau apa alasannya, tidak dinafikan alasan yang tidak diperkatakan adalah alasan yang paling kuat- FB untuk tujuan peribadi. Tetapi pihak atasan telah menerimapakai alasan yang diberi dan kini kami dapat kembali menikmati 'networking' melalui FB. Terus terang saya akui, hanya 1% sahaja FB digunakan untuk menyampaikan maklumat terkini.
Balik kepada isu asal iaitu curi tulang. Saya usulkan disini kepada sesiapa yang membaca, sekiranya kerja yang dipertanggungjawabkan kepada kita disiapkan dalm tempoh yang diberikan, dengan baik dan cermat; apakah kita dikatakan curi tulang jikalau kita berFB dan ber'blog' pada masa lain di pejabat? Atau semasa kita menjalankan tugas rasmi, kita juga mempunyai kesempatan untuk melakukan perkara-perkara diatas, kita dikategorikan sebagai curi tulang? Apakah gaji yang kita dapat dihujung bulan itu halal? Justifikasinya ialah, kerja yang ditugaskan selesai dengan sempurna dan tidak tergesa-gesa, dilakukan dengan 'research' dan 'thought process' ditahap tinggi.
This is for someone out there who has a thing or two to learn about being socially responsible. Firstly, when you make plans to go somewhere, make sure you know the exact venue. My place or your place? Or someone elses house? Or somewhere neutral (the mall, a restaurant, etc). Secondly, get the date and time correct. Tomorrow or today? Yesterday? Too late, it's today already. What? half an hour from now? Where? 45 minutes drive away? Crazy or what??? Oh, another thing... you are hitching a ride from a friend? And what's that? Your phone is out of battery? Eh? You are not sure when and where to meet? Huh? I send you to her house which is in the opposite direction of the party house, which happens to be just 5 minutes drive from our house? What? You did not charge your phone? Try using the my phone, your friend must be frantic, trying to arrange where and when. What? You forgot her number? Put your SIM card in another phone..there you go, 13 missed calls from her. Don't inconvenient people like this. Oh...it's ok, it's just her driver. Still, he is a person, waiting for instructions. Let's go already...they've been waiting for more than 10 minutes. What? She said wait at home? She'll come pick you up? But we're halfway to the meeting point!! Oh alright...tell them we'll wait here. (5 minutes later)..Look, it's not the driver, it's her father....hope you feel guilty for inconveniencing them....Have fun at your party....Sigh...Next time learn from these mistakes.
Hm...what do you say to a person who tries to make up for accusing you for not doing your work in front of people and then turns around and goes thru someone else NOT to apologise but to demonstrate that you are not wrong after all. Get me??
Of course, as a "leader" you have license to say or do whatever you want to your subordinates but surely some measures of humanity and respect are necessary.... Oh boy, and I thought we had gotten rid of one 'mafia boss' to be replaced with a 'mafia wannabe'. He thinks he is tough but underneath all that steel exterior is just a lump of nerves with no direction. His attempts at being hard and unbending are not convincing at all. At best I think he is a joke of a man who really does not know what he wants to focus on. Oh yes, his weakness is favouritism..... Yeay.. to those who suck up to him and ...Nay... to people who don't. The thing is, he truly believes that people who are 'close' to him are the people who actually do work and those who aren't close to him don't do work. Which admin school did he go to???? URGH........
There is work and there are chores. Work is what you do to earn a living. Chores are what you do to make life worth living. Well, that's my comparison between the two. Sometimes chores are harder to do than work. But most times work is more stressful than chores. Sometimes I sit all day at the office 'thinking' about work and come home and spend the rest of the day 'doing' chores. The thinking part leaves me mentally drained, and the doing part leaves me physically exhausted. Between work and chores.... I'd rather do chores.
For the last 30 odd years the mere mention of chores got me running the other way. If I can't do it physically, I'd do it mentally. Having had maids most of my life then, gave me no reason to learn to do any kind of chores. I got by in boarding school by doing the minimum of washing.... some clothes actually rotted, soaking for so long in the pail. Or too bleached out to wear after weeks hanging on the clothesline. Or lost because theye were never claimed from the laundry people.... Even when I remembered to wash, hang and collect them from the clothesline, they would be stuffed into the locker right away. A rare occasion that was.
When I studied overseas, it was slightly easier since the only way to wash clothes was at the laundramat.... Housekeeping was easier as there was a schedule decided by all the roomies. After marriage, clothes piled up all the time. When the laundry basket flowed over, we knew it was time to buy another bigger basket. Laundry was done only when there were no more clothes in the wardrobe....
Then we had children, after three of them we had maids. Ahhhh..... now I was the queen to direct the maids to do everything I had hated since I was a child. So for the last ten years... I have had maids; one after the other doing my bidding.
Until recently, when Tuti went back, I have had to do the housekeeping. I actually enjoy and find satisfaction in making a home. I'd like to think that the house is never cleaner and more organised than when Tuti was around. Yeay!! I actually asked Baba if I can quit 'work' to do 'chores'. If only I can get paid the same doing chores as doing work.......
A new year has come and as with the norm, it comes with many new resolutions. This time around, no resolutions will be made. just as I had told a cousin, no matter what resolution you make early in the year, it will fizzle out after a few months. So, 2010 here's to a year with no resolutions.
Nonetheless, many things will change and many will remain the same. With Izza in Form 4 and Iman in F2, the focus on their academics will be more serious. As of today they have tuition every evening but Wednesday. And on Saturdays, Iman has drum and Science tuition, while Izza has her guitar. Oh wow.... busy, busy, busy....
At the moment Imran is back in Kelantan with MIL. We still have not gotten a maid to repalace Tuti. But things are fine. I find that to a certain extent I enjoy doing housework. Keeps me fit and there is satisfaction when I look at the result of my work. Now, I am wondering if dear, old hubby is purposely not taking in a new maid because of my efficiency. Maybe......
Well, everyday is hectic. In the office and at home. I miss Ilham though. But there is no one to mind him at home right now so he has to be at MIL's.
The dank and gloomy entrance to the lair was an indication that the upcoming event is going to be unpleasant but memorable. I slowly entered the hut, the building's simplicity does not qualify it to be a house in my snooty opinion, only to find my fears realised. There was nothing of the usual things found in a home. At best there were four rows of chairs arranged like a seminar setting. All faced a platform that took up three quarters of the room. Probably for the spectators who've come to accompany the patients. Sort of like a viewing area. All the windows were closed but one, which let in the afternoon light to shine on her. Around her were strewn the paraphernalia of her trade; boxes and bottles of suspicious looking ointments and pills. A plastic container which was half melted from the careless toss of a few cigarettes was inches away from her. This item has become almost an obligatory item amongst the "women" I was forced to fraternize over the years. As I continued to observe the uncomfortable surrounding, I sensed 'her' presence. In the middle of the sunlit area of the platform she sat, contemplating the newcomers, wondering what ailment or which evil spirit have brought these believers and sceptics to her this time. Oh yes, I am sure she can sense the scepticism in me as the ensuing activities proved to me that she did.
Why was I there if I am such a sceptic to spiritual medicine? Well, I was playing the dutiful wife and DIL. Anyway, it couldn't hurt to try anything. She looked at me, that centenarian with eyes that were grey and cloudy with years of seeing what mere mortals could not. When she spoke, she spoke with a voice that was raspy yet powerful which must have been the result of shouting commands to the invisible spirits to leave the mortal body she was treating. It was hard to believe that that tiny frame of a woman had the power bestowed by God to cure what modern medicine could not. That she could find the cause and name the ailment that was unnamed in the ultra modern world I am used to. A grudging respect I admit was slowly building up in me. But still the sceptic, I was sure this visit would have the same outcome as all the other visits made to this sisterhood of shamans like her. MIL was busy paying her lip service so that she would consent to treat Ilham. To cast away what evil spirit that had built a home in him. After much interrogation, she turned to Ilham and tried to strike a conversation with him; to which Ilham ignored (but of course!). Then she asked my MIL to hand her a bamboo stick on the floor. My heart skipped a beat, if she dares to lay that stick on my son, her centenarian record would disappear in an instant. That I swore. But all she did was to strike the floor vertically with the stick to get his attention. It did little to make Ilham pay attention to her. He was busy studying the hut and possibly thinking of how to get out of there and make mummy take him to Tesco. Mummy was thinking exactly the same, darling.
After awhile she asked me some questions which I could not understand. I kept asking MIL to translate. The old woman gave up and started muttering to Ilham that it's because he spoke like an 'orang putih' that's why there's a Chinese spirit residing in his body. What a load of c**p! Then she asked where's the father? Er.... I was told to come alone with Ilham by MIL. So MIL was lambasted for not bringing him along. "What kind of father is that; not bothering to show up at his son's exorcism? Bla, bla, bla.." and so on. Not coming along well, this, I thought. When she was through berating his shortcomings as a father she consented to perform the treatment.
Hmph... I suppose that gave her license to say and do whatever she pleases to her patients. At the end of the treatment it took all of my willpower to keep a neutral expression on my face or to bolt out of the lair screaming profanities. I will never, ever again consent to that kind of treatment if I can help it. First, she asked Ilham to strip totally and sit while MIL pours 40 buckets of water over him. That task proved difficult when Ilham decided not to cooperate. Well, I didn't help much by not pushing him on. When he finally got into position I could see beads of sweat on MIL's face. Oh heck, here mom, I'll help by counting the buckets of water and tell you when. That was not the horrible part of the treatment, worse was yet to come. Until now I could not decide whether the spitting part or the cold powder treatment was worse.
After 40 buckets, she hobbled to the bathroom; which was nothing more than a tiny room with a hole in the floor. Being a properly raised child, I held her elbow while she fumbled with her sarong and balance. I am sure if I had letten go her candle would have poofed. But what she did next made me regret my earlier courtesy. She took a long gulp from the tiny bucket she was carrying and spit it out to Ilham. A full blown spit if that can be used to describe what she did. One, two, three..... possibly ten spitfuls of her special blend water mixed with her 100 year old saliva. MIL managed to get a few spits on her. I was lucky I did not get any as I was on her side. Ilham was cackling away, finally finding all this hilarious. That did not make the old woman happy. I think she expected him to break down and cry "stop, enough, I'll leave this body and never come back!!" (As if). But she did say that now the spirits have run away to the horizon and never disturb her grandchild again. If you think that was the end of it, think again. Once Ilham was dressed (do not wipe him dry!) she asked him to sit in front of her. She did not realise the folly of this request. Ilham cannot sit properly on the floor. Well, we never taught him to. Good thing she did not ask him to use the hole in the floor of the toilet... that would have horrified her to death - him not being able to, I mean. (hm... a bit too many wishes for her demise here). Anyway, she chewed us out again for this flaw in his traditional upbringing. No wonder the spirits have blended into his flesh and bones. She proceeded to paste his face with liquid rice powder. Ilham took all this in stride and giggled along. After that she started muttering and hitting his back a few times, not hard enough to make him cry but strong enough to make him whimper in discomfort.
Next came MIL, and then the cousin who brought us there and finally me. Yup, we all got the liquid powder treatment. Remember I said she sensed I was a sceptic? When it was my turn she pointed a finger to my face and declared that I was a non believer, stubborn and hard. I mustered all my inner strength to keep calm and not react to these accusations. I guess that was why she hit me so hard that tears immediately came to my eyes. She hit my back over and over. The resulting pain could not have come from a fragile woman. She must have had assistance from above. That I believe. And for the finale, she again berated the absent father for his apparent lack of concern.
We left, minus RM30 in my purse, with MIL over the moon that such a revered woman took pity on us and performed the treatment, Ilham whining to go to Tesco, and me fuming inside at the indignities that I was subjected to. The only thing I could do was send caustic messages to the man who made all this possible.